What Matters
Being a working mother is the topic of many an article and book. It's the ongoing discussion about guilt, feeling like there is not enough of a person to go around, and the constant grappling that a working mom feels.
I enjoy working. I knew long before I became a mother that if I had children, I'd be a working mom. It's not the simplest thing on the planet and I am more tired than I have ever been, but it is right for me and for family. Make no mistake, I fell to new depths recently and bought Lunchables. I did not make homemade treats for the soccer team. I actually had my mom join us for a dinner celebration that happened at Chick Fil A (Lord in Heaven). Last week there was an assembly at school and I told the kids I wouldn't be there because I had a meeting.
I traveled recently on business for a few days. I was gone for about 3 nights and left my dedicated husband in charge. I attended a conference that I had been invited to speak at, and doing this was accomplishing a personal and professional goal that I set over a year ago. My preparation for this speech was months long, and by the time I left to travel, I dare say my entire family, canines included, knew the content of which I was to cover. Needless to say, this took time, and required a lot of me.
Often, yes, it feels there is not enough of me to go around. However, I realized this past week that I am who I have always been....and while I have now added "mom" to that list, the other things are still omnipresent. I am goal driven. I like a challenge. I thrive because I have something of my own. It was really fulfilling to do something that I set out to do that really was mine. It felt fantastic. And I don't feel guilty. Not one bit.
Yes, I traveled for a few days and missed things at the house. But will my kids forever remember Mommy wasn't there for a bedtime or two? No chance. Will they recall that Daddy took them to church without me? No. They can't remember what happened yesterday or where the dog food can be found. Were the kids resentful that I had something to do, for me? Not at all-in fact, that opposite. They knew this was important to me-and had heard my practice sessions, turned the slides on my powerpoint, and made a video they sent to me the morning of the speech to encourage me. Will they remember that Mommy did something that made her proud? Probably. Will they recall watching me do extra and hard work to achieve something I desired? Very likely. Are they proud of me? As much as they can be at their age. Years ago a friend told me that it's good for kids to see that someone else needs their mom-and that makes so much sense. I am many things....a wife, a daughter, a marketer, an advocate for adoption, a dog lover...and a mom. As I grow up in the next decade of my life, I realize that people evolve, and we add to our life-and we don't typically take much away. And that's way cool because we get to give the fantastic things we have from all of our learning to the next role that we take-so everyone around us gets to learn what we have. And we are better for it.
I write this for myself, but also for my friends. They are awesome women who all seek to be it all and do it all. And frankly-they do. We all do. We might not make it to the book fair at school (and God bless, stay away from that hot mess), but we are seeking to raise good people, who know the value of working, who appreciate learning from others, and realize that the world does not revolve around one person.
So, send the lunch money or the Lunchables sometimes. Ask your sister and brother in law to pick up the kids (Thanks Ash and Tyler!). Don't use Sign up Genius...they will live without those damn mini marshmallows. And hell, that soccer jersey looks clean to me.
Be true to you. Do what matters.
I enjoy working. I knew long before I became a mother that if I had children, I'd be a working mom. It's not the simplest thing on the planet and I am more tired than I have ever been, but it is right for me and for family. Make no mistake, I fell to new depths recently and bought Lunchables. I did not make homemade treats for the soccer team. I actually had my mom join us for a dinner celebration that happened at Chick Fil A (Lord in Heaven). Last week there was an assembly at school and I told the kids I wouldn't be there because I had a meeting.
I traveled recently on business for a few days. I was gone for about 3 nights and left my dedicated husband in charge. I attended a conference that I had been invited to speak at, and doing this was accomplishing a personal and professional goal that I set over a year ago. My preparation for this speech was months long, and by the time I left to travel, I dare say my entire family, canines included, knew the content of which I was to cover. Needless to say, this took time, and required a lot of me.
Often, yes, it feels there is not enough of me to go around. However, I realized this past week that I am who I have always been....and while I have now added "mom" to that list, the other things are still omnipresent. I am goal driven. I like a challenge. I thrive because I have something of my own. It was really fulfilling to do something that I set out to do that really was mine. It felt fantastic. And I don't feel guilty. Not one bit.
Yes, I traveled for a few days and missed things at the house. But will my kids forever remember Mommy wasn't there for a bedtime or two? No chance. Will they recall that Daddy took them to church without me? No. They can't remember what happened yesterday or where the dog food can be found. Were the kids resentful that I had something to do, for me? Not at all-in fact, that opposite. They knew this was important to me-and had heard my practice sessions, turned the slides on my powerpoint, and made a video they sent to me the morning of the speech to encourage me. Will they remember that Mommy did something that made her proud? Probably. Will they recall watching me do extra and hard work to achieve something I desired? Very likely. Are they proud of me? As much as they can be at their age. Years ago a friend told me that it's good for kids to see that someone else needs their mom-and that makes so much sense. I am many things....a wife, a daughter, a marketer, an advocate for adoption, a dog lover...and a mom. As I grow up in the next decade of my life, I realize that people evolve, and we add to our life-and we don't typically take much away. And that's way cool because we get to give the fantastic things we have from all of our learning to the next role that we take-so everyone around us gets to learn what we have. And we are better for it.
I write this for myself, but also for my friends. They are awesome women who all seek to be it all and do it all. And frankly-they do. We all do. We might not make it to the book fair at school (and God bless, stay away from that hot mess), but we are seeking to raise good people, who know the value of working, who appreciate learning from others, and realize that the world does not revolve around one person.
So, send the lunch money or the Lunchables sometimes. Ask your sister and brother in law to pick up the kids (Thanks Ash and Tyler!). Don't use Sign up Genius...they will live without those damn mini marshmallows. And hell, that soccer jersey looks clean to me.
Be true to you. Do what matters.
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