Family we choose

Both my parents were only children and that meant that our family was predisposed to be small. My mother and father did an exceptional job of pulling friends close to them, so that they were chosen family.  As such, I never really felt like I had a small family...I had "Aunts", "Uncles" and "Cousins" just like my friends and it was the only normal I ever had.  I can't imagine my life without Aunt Eileen and Uncle Vin...and now my cousin Allison is one of my closest friends.  Same goes for Betty and Dave, who's house I'd come into, open the fridge, and make a snack...and hang out with Jess, my childhood BFF.
Now that I am an adult, I have uncovered what a true blessing this gift was from my parents and their circle. In fact, I am doing the same thing for my children.  They have an Aunt Jess, Farrah, Allison and Caitlin who are awesomely present in their lives and the children know no other way.  They see the friends that I have, and know that they are not just girls I have something in common with, but see them as safe, loving people....so they know when I am not around, they can trust.
I'm reading a book about how to build a community.  It's a faith driven book but has application in all sorts.  I read recently how there are so many people who are lonely, even if they have people around them.  I am so blessed---I have never been lonely.  I have always had a friend to call, a note in the mailbox.  When our dog died a few years ago, I was beyond moved by the kind gestures extended to us.  I have been thinking about this and what I have come up with is that authenticity is key.  Being real.  Be honest.  Everyone has a bad day, a rough conversation with a spouse, a kid who is needing extra care.  Honesty bonds people quickly
When Bob and I were dating, he was a bit puzzled by my extended family, and was trying to figure out who actually was biologically related to me...only to realize that it didn't make a difference at all. 
It matters even less, now that our children are not biologically related to us.  In fact, they are probably the most accepting of the community of friends that are family to us---no big deal....no one is biologically related and it's all good.
Bottom line...I am so lucky.  My neighbors, my book club, my lifegroup from church...they are a true community of chosen family.  Our friendships are real and I do reach out when things are not great.  I show up in pajamas if I need to.  And they are cool with it.  I am lucky.

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