Seven Year Itch

This April, Bob and I will be married seven years.  One of my favorite things about being married seven years and having a ten and eleven year old is the math people try to do their head when I tell them the numbers that don't classically add up.  It's comical.

Seven years.  People talk about the seven year itch.  There is even a movie dedicated to the topic.  Ugh.    

I mentioned recently to a friend this weekend, that almost seven years later, it's keeps getting better with Bob.  She responded "That's the way it's supposed to be."    It made me realize that I didn't totally get that at face value.

Truth is, this is right about the time that my first marriage failed.  I'll spare you details because frankly, it's not that interesting and not my favorite topic.  But, in that case, everything became hard, so when I realized that this time around, things keep getting better, I thought this was worthy of a blog.

Looking back at my marriage to Bob, we've had some tough stuff.  Not just tough, but even some really sad stuff-like a lot of marriages.  We struggled on how to build a family and how God wanted that to happen.  Lots of tears and late night talks.  The building of our home was a happy time, but it forced us to sell the house I had loved and had been a sanctuary for me.  So it was exciting to build it together and was the right thing to do, but I had to work through leaving the thing that had been mine to go all in together in a new marriage.   I had to trust that this marriage was going to stick.  Which was scary, but it was the healing thing and the best thing.  Bob knew it was.  I just had to get on board.

We solved the family riddle only for me to feel so lost as a new mom.  Poor Bob had to not only care for the kids but for me as I cried in the shower many days because I knew I was failing these children that needed me. I even couldn't remember if they liked ketchup or mustard.  But when I couldn't rise to the occasion, Bob swooped in.  He'd have a pizza in hand, or be folding laundry, or tucking people in bed.  Bob knew how to fill the gap when I fell short.

Then, a couple years ago, we changed our life.  We had built a vision of what we wanted our life to look like and it meant Bob built a business.  It was awesome, scary, exhilarating, and daunting.  More late night talks.   It meant trusting the other person in a new way and shifting some roles and responsibilities.  It was pretty uncomfortable.   I had so many questions.   And then it was ok.  And now it's really good.

In many ways, our time together has meant that hills had to be climbed.  Sometimes it was together, other times independently so we could be good for the other person.

But today, when I look back on this marriage of about seven years, I am proud that we are solid.  We are team and we show up for each other.  We still debate-sometimes a lot.  We also ask tough questions and we push each other.  We get help when we need it and we always put each other first.  Always.

When Bob walks in to the house, I am always thankful a hug is how he greets me. I love that he pours me a glass of wine.  Bob orders me the items I won't buy myself.  He challenges me to be better-and to give myself a break.

Seven years.  Well, almost.  My seven year itch is to still be the girl sitting next to Bob.