Juggling
I have recently had so many conversations about how to balance life with a busy schedule-be it working outside the home, children, caring for parents, etc, that I wanted to put down some of the things that I have done to TRY to balance my life. For my close friends, you know that I get mixed up, forget the book for book club, and serve dinner as cereal, so there is no firm solution-and I am no maven at this, but I am learning and have a few items that help!
1. I never cook dinner on a weeknight. Never. Why? After working at the office, commuting, driving people places and walking the dog, there's no way. I also love cooking and I know if I make it a horrible chore, it will no longer be cathartic. So---once or twice a month, I figure out about 17-20 meals that I can cook. Costco or Walmart shopping done, I have all the ingredients. I have a list of what I am going to cook and no joke---I plot all meals in pencil on the family calendar. I do about 20 because there will be leftovers, a dinner out or with friends, or camping and doing burgers then. I enlist the kids and Bob and we prep. Each meal gets labeled, and put in the very large freezer in my garage. Standbys are Chicken Fajitas, tomato soup, chili, sloppy joes (vegetable soup, my own tomato sauce (I try to do as much from scratch as I can down to seasonings), enchiladas and a hamburger casserole that I personally don't eat but everyone loves. For me, a good protein shake is often perfect on the run. You can follow me on pinterest if you need recipes. I also bundle items so that I can use the crock pot.
2. In a pinch-organic hot dogs or a sandwich. Because...well real life and no one ever died because mom was tired. However you can make your own fries ahead of time and that makes the meal a bit more homemade.
3. Outsource and don't drive. My home is my sanctuary and be damned if I have to leave for more errands than I should....resources that I have found....
a. Dry Cleaning delivery---I leave my bag on my porch on Thurs am and it's back Friday. Costs about a dollar overall more than driving to drop off. I will never ever do this another way. The owner is delightful and we adore her. We give her enough business that she has done special favors now.
b. Walmart grocery-No additional cost and you can pick up groceries there. Done. Bob can pick it up on his way showing houses. When that doesn't work, Harris Teeter is $5 to have them do your groceries.
c. Costco-For the big stuff. If I have to go, I make it an event-Kids get lunch and ice cream. And I pick up dinner for that night so we don't have to cook that night. Offsets some work. Worth it because these kids keep growing and needing to eat.
d. Chewy-delivers my dog food. Way cheaper than Petsmart and they are the kindest company-sent us flowers when our bulldog died. I am theirs for life.
e. Amazon--Sure you do this already but I use Prime for shipping gifts-almost all of them. I use Ebates and get $ back too. I use it for decorating, kids parties, etc. Saves me a ton in time and I know what I am getting.
f. Reading-we are readers and we all have Kindles. We're linked to the library so books can be delivered electronically. Then when my mom takes the kids to the library, it is a fun outing.
4. Apps-COZI. All my grocery, Costco, Home Depot etc lists are here. Bob and I have shared lists so if one of us stops someplace, they have the full list. Saved our marriage last year.
5. Friends-there's a group of us in my neighborhood who help with the am and pm bus situation. No joke, I never worry about that 8am meeting because my village delivers every time. And I am more than happy to help back. It also brings you closer to those in your community and helps you authentically support each other.
6. Sitters-I always have 2 that are not family that I can call on. Always. Because I like Bob and need to hang out with him. He's still cute.
7. Gizmo---heard of this? My friend Kristin turned me on to this---it's a watch that the kids use as a phone and has 4 programmed numbers. It's wonderful and has GPS so if they are off course, we can call them out:).
8. Soccer-so this is my kids thing. Practices are nuts. So, when I have to drive a distance for a practice I do one of a few things--(1) bring my laptop and answer emails, and then connect at home to send. (2) Wear running clothes. I work out while the kids are practicing (3) Bring the dog because if the day has been long, I am just happier with Ben's company (4) Kindle-catch up on the book club book, providing I have not forgotten about that.
9. Family hard copy calendar-Amy Knapp makes a wonderful one that we live by. It's hanging in our mudroom and solves so much. Bob and I also put big things on each others work calendars-things like "You are in charge of the kids because I have a cooking class. Don't forget or we'll be in therapy."
10. Transparency- A few years ago, I published my schedule to my team, manager, and business partners every Thursday for the following week. It's as simple as "Monday, Tuesday-business as usual, Wed-dr apt 2pm, Thursday-business as usual, Friday-Ciera has her physical at 9, in office by 10". For real, people truly appreciate this and if I running late, people know I am not MIA.
11. Need a minute myself-I am not always a great sleeper. I do Yoga most nights right before bed -with Bob- and it chills us out. It can be 15 mins from You Tube but it is a great way to wind down. It forces the kids out of my space and into theirs, and typically helps Bob and me do something that is not about children or anyone else. I could write a whole blog on how I try to be good wife :) and them Bob could respond. For another day.
I have learned through my professional and personal life that EVERYONE is carrying something -or many things. Children, caring for an aging parent is tough, having a friend going through chemo, trying to focus on your marriage, your faith, anxiety of change-all of it. Everyone needs grace. Everyone needs a hot minute. I say that because it's dangerous to get caught in how hard your life feels because you have no idea what the person beside you is carrying. Maybe they need a meal from your freezer.
And when all else fails, lock the door, take a bath and hide with a bottle of good wine. It is like a prescription. Everyone will survive. I promise.
Cheers.
1. I never cook dinner on a weeknight. Never. Why? After working at the office, commuting, driving people places and walking the dog, there's no way. I also love cooking and I know if I make it a horrible chore, it will no longer be cathartic. So---once or twice a month, I figure out about 17-20 meals that I can cook. Costco or Walmart shopping done, I have all the ingredients. I have a list of what I am going to cook and no joke---I plot all meals in pencil on the family calendar. I do about 20 because there will be leftovers, a dinner out or with friends, or camping and doing burgers then. I enlist the kids and Bob and we prep. Each meal gets labeled, and put in the very large freezer in my garage. Standbys are Chicken Fajitas, tomato soup, chili, sloppy joes (vegetable soup, my own tomato sauce (I try to do as much from scratch as I can down to seasonings), enchiladas and a hamburger casserole that I personally don't eat but everyone loves. For me, a good protein shake is often perfect on the run. You can follow me on pinterest if you need recipes. I also bundle items so that I can use the crock pot.
2. In a pinch-organic hot dogs or a sandwich. Because...well real life and no one ever died because mom was tired. However you can make your own fries ahead of time and that makes the meal a bit more homemade.
3. Outsource and don't drive. My home is my sanctuary and be damned if I have to leave for more errands than I should....resources that I have found....
a. Dry Cleaning delivery---I leave my bag on my porch on Thurs am and it's back Friday. Costs about a dollar overall more than driving to drop off. I will never ever do this another way. The owner is delightful and we adore her. We give her enough business that she has done special favors now.
b. Walmart grocery-No additional cost and you can pick up groceries there. Done. Bob can pick it up on his way showing houses. When that doesn't work, Harris Teeter is $5 to have them do your groceries.
c. Costco-For the big stuff. If I have to go, I make it an event-Kids get lunch and ice cream. And I pick up dinner for that night so we don't have to cook that night. Offsets some work. Worth it because these kids keep growing and needing to eat.
d. Chewy-delivers my dog food. Way cheaper than Petsmart and they are the kindest company-sent us flowers when our bulldog died. I am theirs for life.
e. Amazon--Sure you do this already but I use Prime for shipping gifts-almost all of them. I use Ebates and get $ back too. I use it for decorating, kids parties, etc. Saves me a ton in time and I know what I am getting.
f. Reading-we are readers and we all have Kindles. We're linked to the library so books can be delivered electronically. Then when my mom takes the kids to the library, it is a fun outing.
4. Apps-COZI. All my grocery, Costco, Home Depot etc lists are here. Bob and I have shared lists so if one of us stops someplace, they have the full list. Saved our marriage last year.
5. Friends-there's a group of us in my neighborhood who help with the am and pm bus situation. No joke, I never worry about that 8am meeting because my village delivers every time. And I am more than happy to help back. It also brings you closer to those in your community and helps you authentically support each other.
6. Sitters-I always have 2 that are not family that I can call on. Always. Because I like Bob and need to hang out with him. He's still cute.
7. Gizmo---heard of this? My friend Kristin turned me on to this---it's a watch that the kids use as a phone and has 4 programmed numbers. It's wonderful and has GPS so if they are off course, we can call them out:).
8. Soccer-so this is my kids thing. Practices are nuts. So, when I have to drive a distance for a practice I do one of a few things--(1) bring my laptop and answer emails, and then connect at home to send. (2) Wear running clothes. I work out while the kids are practicing (3) Bring the dog because if the day has been long, I am just happier with Ben's company (4) Kindle-catch up on the book club book, providing I have not forgotten about that.
9. Family hard copy calendar-Amy Knapp makes a wonderful one that we live by. It's hanging in our mudroom and solves so much. Bob and I also put big things on each others work calendars-things like "You are in charge of the kids because I have a cooking class. Don't forget or we'll be in therapy."
10. Transparency- A few years ago, I published my schedule to my team, manager, and business partners every Thursday for the following week. It's as simple as "Monday, Tuesday-business as usual, Wed-dr apt 2pm, Thursday-business as usual, Friday-Ciera has her physical at 9, in office by 10". For real, people truly appreciate this and if I running late, people know I am not MIA.
11. Need a minute myself-I am not always a great sleeper. I do Yoga most nights right before bed -with Bob- and it chills us out. It can be 15 mins from You Tube but it is a great way to wind down. It forces the kids out of my space and into theirs, and typically helps Bob and me do something that is not about children or anyone else. I could write a whole blog on how I try to be good wife :) and them Bob could respond. For another day.
I have learned through my professional and personal life that EVERYONE is carrying something -or many things. Children, caring for an aging parent is tough, having a friend going through chemo, trying to focus on your marriage, your faith, anxiety of change-all of it. Everyone needs grace. Everyone needs a hot minute. I say that because it's dangerous to get caught in how hard your life feels because you have no idea what the person beside you is carrying. Maybe they need a meal from your freezer.
And when all else fails, lock the door, take a bath and hide with a bottle of good wine. It is like a prescription. Everyone will survive. I promise.
Cheers.
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