The Unexpected Housewife

Last week, the kids and Bob and I were on vacation in Hilton Head.  Bob's dad and his girlfriend-Grandma and Grandpa-joined us.  In order to do this, I pulled the kids from school for the week.  Less than ideal, but I was so encouraged that when I asked the teachers for work and their support, they were great, providing work for us to do with the kids and encouraging all of us to have a great time. Hilton Head is a very special place to me.  As a child, my family vacationed there most years, and we enjoyed time at the beach in the warm water.  We loved trying the restaurants, taking walks on the beach, and they are truly some of my favorite memories.  Bob and I got married on the beach there, and now Being able to share that special place with friends and family-especially the kids, has been really awesome, like passing down a tradition. It struck me, one day on the trip, as I watched the kids playing in the ocean with their boogie boards (once of which w...

So this past weekend, Ciera attended a couple birthday parties. All week she was asking questions about them, what to wear...and then it hit me.  I asked her "Have you ever been to a birthday party?".  "No.", she replied.  "Only ones for my brother and me.". Well that stopped me.  Crap-she's 7.  Talk about unfair. I had just recently had a conversation with our family therapist that was like gold-advice that I desperately needed.  We had talked about new situations for the kids and how when a child is part of an event unlike anything they have ever experienced, they have no 'blueprint'.  Specifically, a child is unclear what's coming, what they need to do to live up to parental expectations, and frankly, can be really scared or in sensory overload.   I had seen recently my kids struggle at an event that met this definition.  They were unsure their role, and Ciera especially wasn't taking direction well-something pretty unusual for her...

I've been back at work for almost three weeks and it's been really great.  My co-workers have provided such a warm welcome to my return that it's just felt really nice.  While there is no doubt that it's tough, the floors at the house are not as clean as 30 days ago, and my kids have had pancakes for dinner, the rhythm of our home is getting back. The first few days were tough on my kids, and they struggled a bit.  I was asking a lot of them too, when I really took a step back and considered what I was asking of them-new afterschool program, packing sports clothes to take with you in the morning for the evening activities, snacks, lunch-and that I honestly struggle some days to remember all that is going on, so how can I be frustrated with a 7 and 8 year old?  I have had a few nights where I sat up just being concerned for them, but I'm lucky that the next nights were peaceful.  Each day is different and I am trying to take things in stride as much as possible....