Back At It

I've been back at work for almost three weeks and it's been really great.  My co-workers have provided such a warm welcome to my return that it's just felt really nice.  While there is no doubt that it's tough, the floors at the house are not as clean as 30 days ago, and my kids have had pancakes for dinner, the rhythm of our home is getting back. The first few days were tough on my kids, and they struggled a bit.  I was asking a lot of them too, when I really took a step back and considered what I was asking of them-new afterschool program, packing sports clothes to take with you in the morning for the evening activities, snacks, lunch-and that I honestly struggle some days to remember all that is going on, so how can I be frustrated with a 7 and 8 year old?  I have had a few nights where I sat up just being concerned for them, but I'm lucky that the next nights were peaceful.  Each day is different and I am trying to take things in stride as much as possible.  Not always easy, but it's where I am.
I spent a night in New York due to a meeting recently.  I got up early while there, and took a run before I had to head to my meeting.  Make no mistake, I am no distance runner.   I love exercise purely because it makes me feel good and helps me eat and drink what I love.  However, it was a great run, and I had a peace that I've not had in a while.  I ran through midtown, circled Bryant Park a few times, and enjoyed taking in the energy that the city and its people share.  It was as if the morning was charged, and I was able to run more than I typically can.  While I adore my family-human and canine-it was divine to have those 30 minutes all to myself in a place that was so special and have the quiet in my mind.
I've always had a charity or an organization to whom I have given my time-it's just been a great part of my life and provided balance. For the past few years, I had a leadership role with a charity, and enjoyed it, the people I had met, and supporting a charity.  I took a step back from that role, and been taking a 'pause' because I really feel like something is supposed to hit me and say "this is where you are supposed to be".  I am being careful about committing because I want to be sure I'm doing something where I can really make a difference.
I have discovered in the past few weeks that I am loving being an advocate for adoption and parenting adoptive children.  I am not aligned with a group specifically, but due to my passion about adoption and learning to parent, I am finding connections with people that are powerful.  My return to work netted in several people reaching out, interested in or pursuing foster care adoption, wanting to connect, share, and learn.  My current social worker asked for a blurb about my parenting approach, and it's being published in the agency newsletter.   So, just maybe, I can be an advocate of one for while?  Maybe sharing what I know, and supporting other parents, and telling and writing our story-maybe that's where I need to be for now.  It feels really natural, sometimes messy, but the right place to be.  So I am going to hang here for while.


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