Being Bob's Wife
Bob and I will be married four years in April. The
day we married was a beautiful spring day. Just the two of us walked down the beach on Hilton Head, and said our vows. We
had decided to get married without an audience because we wanted a
simple and sweet time, quiet, with our focus dedicated to each other. We'd taken our first trip together to Hilton Head while dating, and the beach has been part of the fiber of our relationship. Bob proposed to me on a secluded spot on St Croix, and we've been enjoying the ocean ever since.
Fast forward almost four years. I am certain that life was a mirage. I think we've tested our bond quite well. We've lived in three places, built a home, adopted two kids, put a dog to sleep, changed jobs.....real life to the limit. Last week, Bob had ACL surgery for the third time. It's been a bit ugly. The pain has been tough and he's been really brave. We spent the first few nights post surgery sleeping on the couch downstairs, dogs in tow. Little sleep resulted in exhausted parents. However, we're beginning to make this situation a routine, and finding humor.....or at least I am. I am lucky enough that this is my first rodeo with his ACL, but I have to say it's been eye opening. For starters, Bob is leaving a wake of a single sock wherever he's able to go. Literally. It's like a game of 'where's my sock mate?' Sadly, I am the only player. Win or lose, I am the laundress as well. Same goes for the small piles of clothes in the bedroom. I just feel like a better person when I collect them for the laundry. Bob's also been told to wear a white compression stocking on his good leg. I can't resist letting him know each day how absolutely hot it is, especially with the added bonus of the open toe feature. What's been especially fun is to gently ask Bob to be kind to the office staff at the orthopedist's office. He's determined to single handedly change the managed care system by letting everyone at the doctor's office know what he thinks of their fees. While they are ridiculous, I am trying to 'win friends' at the office, not make enemies. I am sure the nursing assistant is thrilled to see us coming. Today I almost invited the receptionist at the doctor's office to join me for lunch. I had spent so much time talking to her and scheduling appointments that I felt like we could be friends. I even introduced myself. While Bob is a good patient, why does each varied ice pack I create leak? I am certain I am not to blame and Bob's got a pin in his pocket. I am finding such joy in refilling and recreating ice packs and asking friends to drop off ice. It's fulfilling. Truly, though, I have discovered how devoted I feel to him. God did not call me to serve the infirm-and those I've helped know I lack some of the bedside manner that should have come. However, seeing Bob in pain has been excruciating to watch and my heart just aches for him. I've discovered that it's natural for me to put his needs first, even more so under these circumstances. We've also been able to find ways to laugh through this. The kids continue to entertain, Ben the Dog has decided Bob's lap is his favorite place (even though Bob has not been a fan of Ben's), and we can still look at each other and roll our eyes. I've learned that my presence is comforting to him, and his is to me as well, even if it's just sitting on the couch. We made a home 'date night' this week and it was as delightful as a fancy dinner. The truth is there no one I'd rather spend time with-regardless of our circumstances. Bob's witty humor, loving approach, and humble attitude captivate me and make me smile. This has made me think about what our life might be like when we are elderly. I pray we are sitting together, laughing. We can figure out the rest.
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