The Unexpected Housewife

When Bob and I were adopting, we were open to adopting children of any race.  We wanted to be sure that the child we were matched with would feel comfortable with white parents, but beyond that, we were open.  Enter Isaiah and Ciera. These two little people, created perfectly in God's image (although I often need a reminder of this), are beautiful in many ways.  They are thoughtful, comfort each other, and funny.  They also happen to be Hispanic. The children love to talk about how they are Mexican, and when Ciera gets this lovely dark tan at the pool in the summer and people compliment her, she basks in the compliment and often responds "It's because I am Mexican.".  This pride, this acceptance of herself, this love for her ethnicity brings me joy.  She celebrates her heritage. We do the best we can to support the children and find ways to explore their background.  And I am sure it is no surprise to anyone who knows me that I am more than happy to...

The other day, I picked the kids up at afterschool to see a sad little face on Ciera greet me.  By the time we got into the car, it was clear something had gone wrong.  On the way home, from the backseat, Ciera shared that she did not have such a good day....and began to cry. It was all I could do to not pull over and get the whole story.  When we pulled in to the garage, I knelt down and held this little person.  On the playground, a little boy, who Ciera has mentioned before as a friend, apparently asked Ciera a bunch of questions about adoption, among them "did your real parents not want you anymore?"  Ciera was so hurt, and the question opened up a raw wound for her.  She and I spent the night together, joined at the hip, while she wept through dinner, homework and was unconsolable.   In an effort to end the evening peacefully, I drew a bubble bath for her in my bathtub and chatted with her.  After prayers and some reading, my little merm...

I love to cook.  It's something cathartic for me.  When we built our current home, we made certain that the kitchen was an environment that was comfortable and the center of the home.  For me, it's the heart of the home.  The large island is often crowded around with great conversation, food, and wine.   There are always large bowls of fresh fruit and vegetables on the counters, a favorite cookbook on an easel, drawers filled with serving dishes. Often, I spend weekend afternoons making large quantities of homemade food.  I love the way the house smells when I cook, and I love being able create large meals that I can use throughout the week to feed my family.  At least, that was my vision. That I know now is an illusion. I never expected to be able to serve curried mussels to a seven and eight year old.  I knew that there might need to be "adult dinner" some nights so Bob and I could enjoy finer foods.  However, my family palate has be...

This holiday season, there is a person who's not in my house and not at my table, but a very present being.  She's a person we don't know well but she's been integral in the creation of our family.  She's Isaiah and Ciera's birth mom. We have spent more time lately than typical speaking and praying for her.  Beginning with Thanksgiving, I could tell the kids were experiencing a more complicated emotion and loss.  They met me at the door on Thanksgiving to share that they missed her and were sad she couldn't be part of our holiday.  There have been some tears, some expressions through writing, and lots of tough conversations.  While Isaiah and Ciera recall their birth mom, their memories are cloudy-but they are devoted, loving and thoughtful where she is concerned. I've thought about her most days in the past few months.  The children have made such strides and our bond as a family has grown.  This Christmas is light years better than last year, ...

Bob and I will be married four years in April.   The day we married was a beautiful spring day.  Just the two of us walked down the beach on Hilton Head, and said our vows.   We had decided to get married without an audience because we wanted a simple and sweet time, quiet, with our focus dedicated to each other.   We'd taken our first trip together to Hilton Head while dating, and the beach has been part of the fiber of our relationship.   Bob proposed to me on a secluded spot on St Croix, and we've been enjoying the ocean ever since. Fast forward almost four years. I am certain that life was a mirage.   I think we've tested our bond quite well.   We've lived in three places, built a home, adopted two kids, put a dog to sleep, changed jobs.....real life to the limit.   Last week, Bob had ACL surgery for the third time.   It's been a bit ugly.  The pain has been tough and he's been really brave. We spent the first fe...

I disliked most of the time I spent as a teenager.  I felt consistently awkward, lacked confidence, and couldn't really figure out who I was.  I was considered "smart"-good classes, debate team, but was never athletic.  I had a core group of really nice friends, and they were good to me, but I felt so insecure I feared they would disappear in a moment. I was a classic good girl.  I didn't get in to trouble.  I wasn't interested in drinking or anything like that, I liked school, and was in the youth group at church.  However, being a teen was hard-people were tough, comments were unkind, and frankly, I yearned for college and an opportunity to reinvent myself. When I left for college, I was thrilled to be the only person from my high school attending Miami University.  I wanted the chance to be myself, be real, and leave it up to others to take it or leave it.  I was so blessed that I fell into a hallway my freshman year with girls who were funny...

About three years ago, Bob and I took our honeymoon to France.  We planned the trip for months, did tons of research and reading, and were thrilled we had saved enough to make it happen.  We were able to get advice from friends and family who had been there, and were beside ourselves when the trip began in late August. We flew to Paris, and immediately took a train out to Beaune, part of the Burgundian wine country.  We'd heard that it was lovely, low pressure, and a great place to really relax.  We found it to be entirely true.  We reveled in the food, local, inexpensive wines, and the markets.  We ate all kinds of delicacies and loved chatting with the locals.  Our first morning there, Bob ran out to get breakfast.  What he came back with is forever emblazoned in my memory.  The chocolate crossaints from a local bakery were paired with the most decadant hot chocolate, made in the hotel in which we were staying.  I felt like a princess...