The Unexpected Housewife

When the kids' adoption was finalized, I realized that I would officially lose the support of my social worker and the kids' social worker.  While both of them are amazing, wonderful people, they have a community to serve, and can't be my first call for advice, questions, etc.  I was able to get a referral to something called "Post Adoption Services".....basically an agency that continues supporting a new family after the adoption is finalized.  About a month ago, two women, both social workers, came to my home, sat with me, and we talked through our family, what's working, what needs improvement, and what kind of support we think we'd still benefit from.  When our meeting was over, I told them I felt like I could breathe, knowing there was someone at the other end of the phone if I felt like I was dealing with a situation out of my league.   It doesn't happen often, but I love having that safety net. I think there is a preconceived notio...

While we were on vacation last week, my right elbow swelled to 4x normal size in the course of hours, was horribly painful, hot, and sensitive to the lightest touch.  During the night, I had to drag my happy self to the pharmacy to get Tylenol, etc, but by 7am the next morning, after no sleep, Bob took me to urgent care, Hilton Head Island style.  Diagnosis-Bursitis of the elbow.  Effectively, overuse has inflamed the sac around the joint. Not hugely serious, but very painful.   6 days of anti inflammatories, pain meds, etc.  So now I find myself 8 days in, and any activity still makes this sucker swell up.  I had planned that the final 3 weeks of my leave, while the kids were at school, would be dedicated to home projects, cooking, and reorganizing the attic.  I am beyond frustrated, annoyed, and often in pain.  Working to rest this is a job on its own.  Still seeking to be 'at home mom' extradionarre- I defrosted my amazing, homemade chi...

Kids began school on Monday.  As Bob and I were working out early Monday am, he asked if I was going to cry walking the kids into their new classes.  I adamantly replied "no way, not my style.  Just not sentimental".  He agreed, I am not. Got the kids up, got them moving.  Ciera admitted she had awoken during the night and was so excited she couldn't fall back to sleep.  Kids ate breakfast, fed the dogs.  Seemed like things were going to go as planned.  If they did, I had plans to treat myself to lunch...:) Wasn't meant to be.  After the seventh time Felicity the Bulldog puked, I knew the day was going to be different than I had envisioned.  However, I figured she'd survive while Bob and I did first day of school fun.  School was a mob scene....Kids everywhere.  I was reminded to walk the green line on the floor by my own kids.  We found each of their classrooms without trouble, introduced our happy selves to the teacher...

We spent a final summer weekend on Hilton Head just before the start of school.  It was lovely in a million ways.  I found I was able to take things, even my own emergency to urgent care, more in stride. The kids were delightful.  I had a great time playing with them, building in the sand, swimming, and beamed with pride when they politely ordered their own meals...something they've learned to do since living with me.   We played games, took a nap during a thunderstorm, and authentically laughed.  My mother joined us for the trip.  The kids adore her and the feelings are mutual. There is something so warming to see she and the kids love each other, like I was able to bring some people together who really needed the other.  I have realized by having my own kids how valuable and wonderful my mother is. She totally jumps in, helps cooking, plays with them, and encourages them to learn.   Mom also gives us the great gift of time alone. Bob a...

We are in the process of having some work done on the house, which is very exciting.  Once completed, the back of our house will have a screened in porch-one with windows-providing a kind of three season room.  When Bob and I discussed this, we were considering how we could carve out a space in the house that would simply be dedicated for us-if we had company, we had a place for our friends...and when we are home with just the kids, we'd be able to be around them....but in a way that would provide more space.  Thus, the porch. As with any construction, there have been hiccups from day one.  The floor has had to be installed twice because the wood was laid incorrectly....etc.  One of the guys working on the porch was clearly embarrassed when I caught him picking cherry tomatoes from my garden and eating them.  You can imagine his surprise when I suggested he grab some basil to go with it.   Ben the Dog and Felicity are in rare form.  Ben is s...

Traveling home from Cincinnati at 5am on Sunday, Bob and I, in true business form, discussed our vacation post mortem.  Best practices and lessons learned are listed below. 1.  Felicity does not prefer nice hotels.  Until Felicity can appreciate luxury, she will need to remain at home while we travel.  We hope this changes for her, but our taste will not change. Ben is ambivalent, but satisfied enough that he is not being abandoned. 2. Our kids don't ride their bikes when we bring them 1400 miles, and bikes on the back of a packed car are a pain in the ass. We will never do that again. 3. Trash bags are key.  For everything. 4.  The beer we brought and purchased was all drank.  We can never have enough beer.  Save room in the car for beer. 5.  Someone is going to cry.  It's just going to happen.  And at some point, it will be me. 6. Bring extra sheets.  Someone or something is bound to pee in the wrong place. 7.  Be...

We spent several days in NY state with Bob's family this summer.  Seeing Bob and his Dad together made me reflect on my own dad.  He's been gone about 13 years.....I am sure,like most, some days that feels like eons, and at other times, like 5 minutes.  Dad and I had a special friendship, especially as I got into my late teens and 20s.  He totally understood and remembered how tough it was to be a teenager.   He knew I wasn't inclined to drink or try smoking nor drugs, so he trusted me for the most part.  He always said if I was ever at a party and felt uncomfortable, he'd come get me, no questions asked.  Because of that trust, I did take him up on his offer more than once.  He was totally cool about it and never pushed me.  Shortly before I left for college, Dad became very ill, and he and Mom ran him to the ER.  I was standing in the living room at the bay window when Mom called to share he had pneumonia....and emphysema.  Mom ...

Approaching midnight on our trip north, it was time to find a hotel.   First exit, no rooms.  I told Bob I was beginning to feel like I was a young girl on a donkey seeking a space at the inn.   The Days Inn beaconed us.  Unloading the circus of people and now 2 dogs was a task of its own.  I was really put off by the sign that read "no pets in hotel".  Bummer for you, Days Inn.  We were not turning back.  We quickly scurried to the room,  like a jacked up parade.   8 hours later, back on the road.  I officially broke the rules.   We've had a great visit in NY state with Bob's family.  The weather with cooler temperatures has been a welcome change from the oppressive heat in Charlotte.  I ate beef on wick last night for the first time.   It's roast beef on a salt and caraway seed roll. The great blend of savory and salty is delightful. I mentioned we have 2 dogs now.   Why not add to the menagerie?  B...