Re-entry
As I return to work next week, I am flooded with thoughts about this summer, energy to dive back in to my role, and conversations with the children to prepare them for yet another shift in their routine.
This summer was a gift. I wish all parents could have the opportunity to spend a summer with their kids-adopted or not-and embrace the time. We had a blast. I had the kids develop their own Top 10 list of Summer 2015 and I was thrilled to see the items they noted-from trips to the beach, time with their cousins and grandparents, time at the pool and camps. I did the same and shared my lists with them. I was thrilled this summer to really get to know Isaiah and Ciera. I loved taking them to lunch, museums, staying in hotels on our own, and reading on the couch with them. I am walking away from this time feeling like my kids are really mine, and we are able to communicate better, appreciate each others likes and dislikes, and frankly, that I am really a mom. While being a parent always has an element of scariness, I am more settled in this role, and less apprehensive day to day, which is the most comforting blessing that could have resulted. When the children moved in last November, I was very focused on tackling their integration into the family as I do most things-like a detailed project. As such, rooms were ready, food in the freezer, and schedules polished-but I didn't really know them or how to make them feel safe and loved. I'm still learning that, but I have more clues than I did before this time with them, and for that, I am so thankful.
I feel very energized and ready to return to my real life at work. Balance will probably always be tough, as it is for most parents, regardless of how or where they work. My position provides me the fast pace that I enjoy, daily challenges, and awesome relationships. It's time to put that ingredient back in to my life and I am hopeful that together, these pieces will all fit together better than they did several months ago.
Ciera and Isaiah expressed earlier this week that they are sorry that I am going back to work. I can understand that-and I really believe that the hours that they have spent with me after school for the past few weeks have been really valuable. I can totally appreciate why families have a parent stay at home-Isaiah and Ciera have benefited from having me around, and we have enjoyed that time. However, when they asked me, "Why do you have to go back to work?", I was really honest with them. I told them that my position challenges me in ways that I really like-and differently than at home. I told them that each day at work, I learn things that make me feel good about myself-and that makes me be a better mom to them because I am getting something I need. Ciera gave me a hug to that response, and I am going to take that to mean that in her own way, she can understand that.
I want my children to know that they are so important to me, but that I am important to me too. I know working outside the home, in some ways, makes life tougher for them. I have to ask more of them because I work-to do their homework at afterschool, pack up their lunches, etc. But I do have confidence that I am doing the right thing for me-and for my family.
I loved being part of the stay at home world-and I am so thankful for my friends and family who embraced me during this time. I also loved hearing from my professional colleagues during my time at home, as the gentle reminder that I belonged to that world too. I am privileged to have had a chance to do both....and, as I re-enter my 'real life', I am going to seek to just do my best in the moment, focus on the person who needs me at that time, and appreciate all the opportunities I am given. I am sure there will be messy days, glasses of wine, and four letter words here and there, but it's real life, and it's mine.
This summer was a gift. I wish all parents could have the opportunity to spend a summer with their kids-adopted or not-and embrace the time. We had a blast. I had the kids develop their own Top 10 list of Summer 2015 and I was thrilled to see the items they noted-from trips to the beach, time with their cousins and grandparents, time at the pool and camps. I did the same and shared my lists with them. I was thrilled this summer to really get to know Isaiah and Ciera. I loved taking them to lunch, museums, staying in hotels on our own, and reading on the couch with them. I am walking away from this time feeling like my kids are really mine, and we are able to communicate better, appreciate each others likes and dislikes, and frankly, that I am really a mom. While being a parent always has an element of scariness, I am more settled in this role, and less apprehensive day to day, which is the most comforting blessing that could have resulted. When the children moved in last November, I was very focused on tackling their integration into the family as I do most things-like a detailed project. As such, rooms were ready, food in the freezer, and schedules polished-but I didn't really know them or how to make them feel safe and loved. I'm still learning that, but I have more clues than I did before this time with them, and for that, I am so thankful.
I feel very energized and ready to return to my real life at work. Balance will probably always be tough, as it is for most parents, regardless of how or where they work. My position provides me the fast pace that I enjoy, daily challenges, and awesome relationships. It's time to put that ingredient back in to my life and I am hopeful that together, these pieces will all fit together better than they did several months ago.
Ciera and Isaiah expressed earlier this week that they are sorry that I am going back to work. I can understand that-and I really believe that the hours that they have spent with me after school for the past few weeks have been really valuable. I can totally appreciate why families have a parent stay at home-Isaiah and Ciera have benefited from having me around, and we have enjoyed that time. However, when they asked me, "Why do you have to go back to work?", I was really honest with them. I told them that my position challenges me in ways that I really like-and differently than at home. I told them that each day at work, I learn things that make me feel good about myself-and that makes me be a better mom to them because I am getting something I need. Ciera gave me a hug to that response, and I am going to take that to mean that in her own way, she can understand that.
I want my children to know that they are so important to me, but that I am important to me too. I know working outside the home, in some ways, makes life tougher for them. I have to ask more of them because I work-to do their homework at afterschool, pack up their lunches, etc. But I do have confidence that I am doing the right thing for me-and for my family.
I loved being part of the stay at home world-and I am so thankful for my friends and family who embraced me during this time. I also loved hearing from my professional colleagues during my time at home, as the gentle reminder that I belonged to that world too. I am privileged to have had a chance to do both....and, as I re-enter my 'real life', I am going to seek to just do my best in the moment, focus on the person who needs me at that time, and appreciate all the opportunities I am given. I am sure there will be messy days, glasses of wine, and four letter words here and there, but it's real life, and it's mine.
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